Hi! My name is Lenard… and I’m funny! At least, my mom always told me so; she says, “Lenard, you make me laugh-snort!”. Yeah, it gets awkward. My mom is one of those moms who is really overprotective; she wants me to be whatever I want to be, even if it includes making her snort. She never lets me go anywhere near the butterflies, or the moths, or even the caterpillars! She lets me hang around the worms sometimes, but they are so slimy and gross; plus it’s hard to talk to them because their face is… basically not a face. Sometimes, when I try to make conversation, it doesn’t go well. I try to “look them in the eye” but they don’t have eyes so… and, they eat dirt. That’s nasty. Now that you know a little bit about me, I thought it would be fun to tell you a story. After all, this is my new diary, and I might as well write about my day.
So, this morning I was inching along the exterior of my house, when suddenly a shadow flew over my head. Knowing at once that that shadow had been a bird, I ducked for cover. Now, it is a little known fact that birds DO NOT EAT INCH-WORMS! I don’t know why people don’t get this… I mean, eating your fellow creatures is going a bit far. If people are talking to their kids about the grand Circle of Life, you don’t want to tell your kid that creatures get eaten because bigger creatures are hungry! That is not appropriate for children! And highly offensive to us inch-worms. But anyway, I ducked for cover, because although birds to not eat inch-worms, they are bullies. Bird Bullies. That’s why no birds are really liked among us tiny fellows. And then, guess what happened? The bird picked me up in it’s beak and started tossing me into the air… UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AND UP AND DOWN AND AAAAAAAHHHHH! How rude is that? As soon as I managed to escape, I told my mom; and then the birds got in trouble! Isn’t that neat? I am a total hero! Maybe people years from now will right songs about me and my heroism… I sure hope so! Until then, I’ll just keep you posted Diary! Have a nice night (even though you will just be sitting here pointlessly in my room ♥)!
The Amazing Hero: Lenard Beethoven Squirmy Wormy